A psychologist's enlightening opinion on our tandem cushion - BINOM!

Because we discovered that our tandem cushion - BINOM was more than a simple comfort cushion for two and that it can free up speech and simplify conversations, we wanted to know more about this psychological dimension .

For this we had the chance to interview psychologist Aude Jamin who gave us some explanations. You will be surprised !

Laurent from Petits Cadors: Hello Aude and thank you for agreeing to test our tandem cushion - BINOM . Shall I let you introduce yourself?

Aude Jamin: Child and adolescent psychologist, I work on the normal development of children with a practice very focused on prevention, and I also provide treatment for neurodevelopmental and psycho-emotional aspects of the child, in consultation with the various partner professionals (school, nursery, health professionals, care platforms). In my practice I work a lot with parents, notably through parental guidance and support, in order to promote interactions and a family and educational life context conducive to good development.

So you have tested BINOM. How did it go ?

I first tested it with my son who is 12 years old. What appealed to me the most from the start with this cushion was the proximity of the faces combined with complete freedom of the body. This is the most remarkable point for me. We each had great freedom of movement without it interfering with the conversation. And I thought it was great.

Do you mean that in a classic conversation there are disruptive elements?

For my part, I made a link between this experience and my work with the children and parents I meet. I immediately thought of children who have ADHD (Attention Disorder with or without Hyperactivity). Children who exhibit hyperactivity and impulsivity are in constant movement, on a more or less large scale. This is what is often complicated for parents, this tiring side of the child who is always moving, with whom we cannot communicate. There is a negative aspect that sets in in the relationship because there is a permanent embarrassment, a perpetual agitation which makes the exchange or shared situations painful.

When I tested the cushion, I thought it was interesting for parents of ADHD children who can sit down with their child and have a real conversation. We can talk about very intimate things, including somewhat difficult themes, we can also use it in moments when the child is not feeling well and feels the need to confide. There is both listening, through proximity, and at the same time the possibility for the child to continue to let off steam, to move. The parent can listen without being interfered with.

I mention ADHD children because that's what first caught my attention but I imagine that the result would be the same with smaller children of 2, 3 or 4 years old for whom movement is life! When we place ourselves on the cushion for a moment of exchange, we establish a sort of tranquility by being lying down and close but without restricting the movement.

Have you also tested BINOM with your partner?

Yes. It was an experience that provoked further reflections. Particularly the one related to the gaze. There are situations where the gaze is important but there are also many situations where it can be distracting. We know that in non-verbal communication, facial expressions, smiles and raised eyebrows can sometimes put us on the defensive. Especially if we discuss difficult things, we can focus on non-verbal communication which hinders the exchange. With BINOM , we are less parasitized and we will more easily get to the end of the things we want to express.

So we are more focused on the voice?

Yes. The voice and what is said. We can more easily reach the end of the emotion and expression that we want to express.

So the fact of not being face to face is decisive?

Yes. My son, for example, is a child who is very sensitive to non-verbal expression and when he was little he used to comment to me about raising his eyebrows. He had great reactivity in relation to the expressions that the face can send. I imagine that BINOM could make things easier to pose. Including speaking very gently, with kindness since we are very close.

Is that a bit like how the confessional works (laughter)?

Yes, it's true ! When we don't see the other, we can free ourselves from certain things without having to analyze the look of the other in the face.

It's true that we are often tempted to interpret other people's facial expressions and see in them judgments, questions, things that would be hostile to us!

Yes and automatically. It's out of control.

Is this phenomenon amplified in children?

It's a good question. At the age when the ability to express themselves is not yet very developed, the child will rely a lot on non-verbal communication.

Do you think that BINOM could be interesting for exchanges between children? In a frat house or at school? For example to manage conflicts?

If we take the points stated previously, yes. On a physical level, there is no risk of hitting each other and it is impossible to pick up facial expressions or other signs that can deflect the exchange.
I also think of children who have social anxiety and whose fear is of being judged and criticized. They interpret verbal and non-verbal messages very easily and negatively. With the cushion, the situation could be easier.

Can we use BINOM as a first step that restores confidence in interacting with another?

Yes, not feeling watched. The main fear when you have social anxiety is being looked at, being judged.

Can we talk a little more about school?

In this specific context, what I find interesting is the proximity which allows us to be able to whisper, to speak quietly in the other's ear. In a class, this could make it possible to say things to each other, at a very low volume and, for example, discuss qualities, know how to say a compliment. This is what you do when you work on social skills. But sometimes the compliment can get in the way! It's great to be able to say it in a whisper to the other person.

Your son is already almost a teenager. Do you think there is an age from which children would not like to use the tandem cushion ?

No, there is no age to be close to others while being free to move around! It's more a question of usage situations. Is there an age to look at the clouds together and let our imagination run wild? Or to read each one quietly on their own while being close? Or even talk very seriously about your projects and feel listened to?

Would there be a difference between girls and boys? In the collective unconscious, we always have the impression that girls open up more easily and discuss at greater length. Does this seem like a reality to you?

Not necessarily. It is rather a question of temperament, and also of bonds of trust and closeness in the relationship. I've come across taciturn girls and boys who are big talkers! It's a question of temperament.

Is there anything you would like to add?

Yes. I also think of children who have autism spectrum disorder. Not everyone has the same difficulties but many are very sensitive to touch, have difficulty supporting contact, and for them, this cushion can be great. Many of them avoid looking and in this case too BINOM can be a suitable tool. We can be in a more intimate exchange, in confidentiality, while avoiding all elements that can be disruptive.

Thank you very much for this feedback Aude!

* Aude Jamin's comments are solely those of herself as a user of our products and cannot represent the opinion of all psychologists or other health professionals.

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